yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
