I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
