and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
