i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
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