First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
