You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize