she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Randomize