only if we run a train.
done.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I would ride that face into the sunset
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
My bed smells like the plague
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