she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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