K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
