As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
