I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
