i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize
