I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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