I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
