Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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