not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize
