and next time when you feel me up, do it right
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
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