yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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