Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
