After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
