Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
