you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
