I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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