Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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