Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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