I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
