Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize