Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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