i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
