Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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