youre lurking in front of me
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
