very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
