sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Randomize
