you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
