I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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