thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Randomize