Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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