Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
