I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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