And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
