If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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