I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
