I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize