david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
