Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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