Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
