I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Randomize
