Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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