I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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