btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
