Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
