I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
