My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I think I just shit out all my problems.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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