I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
