He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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