I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
