hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
