is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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