i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
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