Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Randomize
